So, considering the path forward to assignment five. Probably the biggest area of concern with my fourth submission was regarding texts. Firstly there was a random mix with and without parentheses which provided a confusion/distraction. Were these texts from me or from somewhere else? Additionally there was a lot of confusion with intent – were the texts viewing the relationship between father and son positively or otherwise? And lastly, why did I have the texts randomly placed on the image? (well to break it up I think, to not be monotonous).
So I have aligned all the texts to a common starting point. I’m planning to continue to have a background tone in order to place it as an image rather than as a just text. I’m not entirely sure why, perhaps it is something to do with image and text as opposed to simply text.
One of the other comments was about unifying the texts, this may be partly because I had conflicting statements. Conflict as opposed to ambiguity didn’t seem to work, quite a few comments suggested that I had that wrong. I was being too ambitious with the texts, wanting to create too many entry points, better to have a simpler structure.
And so I have created more texts, bringing more of my own voice directly into the work. The first, third and these two below are quotes from elsewhere, the rest are wrenched from memory.
I’m planning to let them lie for a while before re-sequencing them.